Internet Lovin’

What in the world has technology come to these days? In a time where we can pretty much do anything we want on the internet, people need to stretch it a little further. With the ability to do such great things like start a singing career, look at the earth from a satellite and even order a pizza on the internet, you would think technology is being used for good. Then, we create the “Internet Kissing Machine”.

Are you kidding me? People are so stuck on computers that the need for an internet make out session exists? Japanese lab workers have created a device that will allow one to tongue this machine and have it register the movements in someone else’s mouth. As of right now, this is only used through one computer and the device moving around is a straw. Not exactly sensual if you ask me. However, the lab seems to believe that this will be a hit. They think that this will help long distance relationships in some ways. I beg to differ, but to each their own I suppose. The thought was also tossed out there that they could get celebrities to use the device and it would save the kiss for distribution. Can you imagine what the mayhem would be if tweens were able to get this device and make out with the guys from Twilight? All you would have to do is offer this ability and the things would sell themselves. It seems like a ridiculous notion to me.

Check it out in action:

Even though this may be a good business if they were able to get the celebrities, models, or whoever to use this thing, I think it is extremely creepy. This would add a completely new twist into the world of online predators. A 40-year-old guy posing as a 14-year-old is “making out” with a 13-year-old girl. Ew. This gives me the chills. Not the good chills. I’m not going to get into much detail about this, but, think of the creeps who are not picturing this device simply as a tongue or mouth. They might not just kiss this thing. This is unbelievably gross, and I know this isn’t the thought process behind this device, but someone will figure out a way to use this in a despicable manner.

I also understand that when you see this thing that it is only a straw on a box and it seems less intimate than high fiving your crush, but apparently innovations are on the way. They will try to duplicate breathing, taste, smell, feel and even moisture with this thing in the future. This could get to be pretty realistic and will be way over the top. I understand they are seeing this is a way for distant lovers to stay in contact, but please. When I’m away from the one I want, I don’t need to make out with some robotic thing to be happy. I will simply have a video chat and smile and blow a kiss. This is too extreme.

Kids thinking that this thing is made for you to get chicks on the internet to kiss you, stop. You’ll be making out with a robot toy. Not a girl. Go outside, meet a girl and kiss her lips. Slip her the tongue and enjoy it. Don’t get caught up with making out with “Jessica Alba”. Please. I beg you.

About lucasbradford

I'll suck you in like a Cyclone.

Posted on May 5, 2011, in DATING and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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